Saturday, April 16, 2011

I'm Not Australian, I Just Play One on TV

I am not a "Mommy" blogger.  Yes, I am a mom.  Yes, I am a blogger.  But to say that I'm a "Mommy" blogger, to me signifies that my identity is just as a mom who is looking for a way to express myself.  I can express myself just fine.  I am my own person aside from being a wife and mom.

It always bothers me when people (specifically mothers) say that they "live for their kids".  Listen, I am a damn good mother.  My kids are polite, well-behaved, well-rounded kids.  I take great care of them, I talk to them and they even talk back, and I am involved in their lives.  They know I love them more than anything.  But they also know, I think, that I have a life apart from them.  I have a life at work.  I have a life with friends.  I have a life with Norm.  They know that while I love them with my whole heart, I am also a person apart from them.  And I think that's important.

In a couple of months they will all be going away to church camp for a whole week.  And since Norm will still be deployed, I will have an entire week all to myself.  I can't wait.  I can't wait to be myself all by myself for a whole week.  In fact, I've decided to take a trip to New York City that week.  I've already booked my flights and hotels, and I'm looking into a couple of Broadway shows.  I know there are some people who think it's strange that I'm going to NY all by myself.  But the truth is, I don't mind being by myself.  I don't mind seeing a show or eating on my own.  I'm excited about wandering around the Met all alone and taking my time.  I can't wait to eat what I want, when I want, and not worry about if someone else is hungry or if they're in the mood for the same food I'm in the mood for. 

A few years ago I was in Europe visiting my sister, and I got one whole day in London all by myself.  My friends have all said I was crazy for being someplace where I didn't know anyone else in the entire country.  But I loved it.  I grabbed a sandwich at a corner store and ate while watching ducks at a pond in Hyde Park.  I went to Harrod's and bought an odd dinner of garlic Naan and Spanish olives and Swiss chocolate, and ate while looking at a British Vogue in my hotel room.  It was fabulous.

And here's how weird I am:  a few months ago I spent a weekend all by myself in a city a few hours away.  For the entire weekend, I spoke with an accent, just because I could.  Sometimes I feel so hemmed in by my life.  It seems that it's already set out for me:  a wife and a mom and a daughter and a sister who have so many people depending on me.  If I act strange for a day, everyone asks me if I'm okay or what's wrong.  I can't change my behavior from who I have always been without people questioning me.  While I love my life, I like knowing that sometimes I can be someone different for a while.  It was fun being able to pretend for a while.  It was fun to act like I was a girl with an accent.  It made me feel like I could explore my options a little.  And then I was ready to go back to being a mom with a Midwest accent, taking care of my kids and my husband, making sure my parents were okay, being a responsible aunt and sister.  All of that felt welcome after being someone else for just a couple of days. 

My point is:  I am who I am, and who I am doesn't revolve around my children.  I can talk about things other than my kids.  I have interests apart from my kids' interests.  I am more than a wife and mother.  I'm just me.

So don't call me a "Mommy" blogger, okay?  I'm just a blogger, who happens to be a mother.  And knowing that I can be all of it at once makes me love all of my jobs even more.


  1. people have tried calling me a mommy blogger, but i don't feel like i fit that category either. i am a mom, yes. and i am a blogger...but these days i rarely blog about my kid or about being a mom.

    thanks so much for coming by my blog and for your comment. i see we have ONE blog friend in common, i love me some CrazyMamaof7!

  2. oh i went to reply to your comment on my blog, i always like to reply via email and your email address is not enabled.

    did you know that?

    this means that you spend so much time leaving lovely comments on people's blogs and they have no way of responding to a question or thanking you for stopping by or just continuing the conversation...because instead of your email address all they see is "no-reply comment".

    sad right?

    you can fix that if you like.

    just go to your dashboard, click edit profile and click show email address and then click save profile.


    and i PROMISE if you change this blogging will get even better and become even more fun!

  3. Your New York adventure sounds delightful and London too. With my hubs new travel i'm hoping to tag along and have my own big city adventures while he works.

    I am narcissistic enough to wonder if I triggered this post.
    A mom blogger, if I had to be put in a category I guess that is the one I fit into best but I don't think that is all I am. Like you said, i'm a mom who blogs. And like i've recently posted, i'm in a rut, this detour back to baby-ville has me conflicted.

    I totally get the need for a secret life/blog where you can really be honest. I started out never censoring myself but as more family started reading, neighbors and friends, I don't feel like I can be as open.

    Good luck!

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  5. This post struck a chord with me. I lost 'who I was' for a while & it was back in 2004 that I started blogging to change myself. I was so tired of immersing my entire life in my kids and wondering why I wasn't happy...neither was hubs, friends.

    My blogging started by avoiding labels. I think it saved my life.

    It's healthy to see beyond one element in your life to define you. Albeit, an important element is family, but one of the many facets that make you, uniquely you.

    Know what I mean, gov? :insert accent here:

  6. Me too. Mother, blogger, not a mommy-blogger.


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