Today I interviewed two people for the job as my administrative assistant at work. I had interviewed two people a few weeks ago, before I went on vacation, but one of them was a definite "no", and the other was a "maybe", but I had enough doubts about her abilities to want to see other candidates. The two people I interviewed today were both great options, but totally different from each other. One is a self-starter and possibly over-qualified for the job. She's professional, detail-oriented, and probably won't need a whole lot of direction from me. On the other hand, I really like things done a certain way, and she's a bit of a stronger personality; she might decide to do things HER own way. And as a boss, I tend to be a little too nice, and not always able to assert myself as strongly as I should (I know, I know! I'm working on it!!) so I'm afraid her personality might overpower me. It would be so nice, though, to have someone that is self-directed. And I think she would definitely get everything done that needs to be done without me having to bug her too much.
The second candidate, though, would also be great in the position. I think she has more of a passion for our business, and I think she would take direction really well. I think more than the other candidate, she would really look to me for direction and would be eager to do things exactly how I want them. I love, love, love that. On the other hand, the person that just left this position was a lot like her, and I had to remind her often about the more subtle parts of the job...the things that were more of a monthly task or an "every once in a while, check on this...." type of task. She needed too much direction at times, and I couldn't give her any tasks with too much "weight". I think this candidate is more "mold-able" though, and that I will be able to train her to do things just like I want them.
So I'm left with a decision. And much of the decision points back to what I want in an assistant. What can I handle? I'm afraid of being overpowered just a bit by the first candidate, but maybe this is an opportunity for me to learn to be more assertive. Maybe it's time I started being a little more confident about my abilities and that I truly am good at my job, and not be afraid that someone else will "take over". Maybe it's time I learn to take charge and take my "boss" role more seriously. She will be my assistant. It's okay for me to tell her what to do and to work her hard when I need to.
But I'm also a good boss in other ways. I'm good at training someone to be detail-oriented. I am a team player who doesn't mind coming alongside someone to teach them the right way to do things. I can lead. I can direct. I'm good at that part of it.
My decision feels harder because it feels like I am not only deciding on who gets the job, but also on what kind of boss I will need to be for the next period of time. More assertive? Or more "friendly". Someone who maybe lets go of some of the things I've always controlled in order to hand them off to someone else, so I can concentrate on some of the things that have been taking a back seat? Or someone who still controls everything I have, but directs someone else on how to take care of them for me? What kind of boss will I be? What kind of person will I be?
Grr. Can one of you just make this decision for me?